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Sunday, September 23, 2007

Disturbing Slang: Side Salads

I went to an Angel's baseball game with a group from work recently. One coworker is related to a team member and thus got to sit in the fancy boxes. Another friend pointed out where his box was. Then he gestured to another private area and said, "That's where the side salads sit". Huh?

Judging by the puzzled look on my face, he explained that 'side salads' are players' mistresses and advised that many of the wives are aware of this and consider it a price to pay for the lavish lifestyles. Well, I don't know about that, but I do have a little something to say about side salads.

First, how unsettling that sports mistresses must be so common as to warrant their own urban slang term. So, what do we call men on the side? Cheese sticks? I apologize; that was crude. But, something tells me we need not dwell on that because I bet there aren't many cheese sticks to speak of. I think this is primarily a male side order.

Second, shame on you side salads. Men are puppies with instinctual reactions to certain female traits and behavior. When I hear of affairs with married men, both parties are guilty, but I blame the woman more. If she turns it off the man will go sniff elsewhere, at least the kind of man inclined to do that. So listen, salads, leave the married men alone. Someone's already ordered that main dish.

I love side salads, particularly with blue cheese. I order them frequently, but I'll never be one.


Happily Anonymous said...

I've never heard of it termed that way. It's a shame that the married person (whether it's the husband or wife) have so little respect for their spouse. I place the blame equally, pretty much on both parties. Perhaps more on the married person though. It's a character issue.

Cat said...

Hi Happily, good point you make - regardless of gender, marital status is the significant factor. I'm going to feel odd the next time I order a side salad, likely tomorrow for lunch. Gulp.

Claire said...

I will be asking my friends if they have heard of this term before.
Cheese sticks made me smile :)

I agree shame on the side salads, but if they are quite happy to sit in their private area and everyone knows about it, they probably have no shame at all.

Cat said...

I like your reasoning, Claire! True, the salads likely feel proud of their 'achievement'. Ugh.

the food inspector said...

You never want to be a side salad? Are you sure about that? Think about all marriages you get to help out. Not mentioning all the abortions and wonderful expensive games you get to attend.

If anything, I'm sure the wives order the side salad for their husbands. Think about it. If I was a wife to a self centered jock, then I would order him a couple side salads meanwhile have my own calorie infested pasta back home. :) hmmmm.... pasta....

-the food inspector

viagra online said...

True, the salads likely feel proud of their 'achievement'. Ugh.

Lamb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lamb said...

"Men are like puppies?" Are you serious?? Men are GROWN MEN who make their own decisions. If I were a man, I would be extremely insulted at the insinuation that there is no brain in my head, only "instinct." Let us not forget that the married man has also "ordered the main dish" of marriage and is making a decision to go OUTSIDE of that commitment. Being married is HIS issue, not the girlfriend's. Get real.

Anonymous said...

This article was very informative to me and my coworkers. We have been wondering for quite sometime what the term "side salads" meant, as we are often referred to as them by our male coworkers. I thought it was something highly insulting. But it is simply, the truth. Thanks much. I regret nothing.
-Your husband's mistress

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My Cynical Score

You Are 40% Cynical
Generally you give people the benefit of the doubt. But there are exceptions.
You buy into many of the things that mainstream society believes, but you're not anybody's fool.