Death of a Snailsman
I feel absolutely horrible when I step on a snail. I hear the cracking of that little shell. My foot slides forward a bit, lubricated by snail goo and I'm just wrecked for the day. It's strange, I can review police reports all day about people beaten up, robbed and generally mistreated and it doesn't affect me as much as accidentally smashing a snail.
The snail's murder occurred last night near my condo. I'm usually quite careful because it's somewhat damp here by the bay at dusk and snails are known to frequent. I guess it really wasn't murder because I had no intent. It was, like I said, purely accidental. So I suppose this makes it manslaughter. Snailslaughter. Crunch. Agony...
It is like the train wreck cliche; after I've smashed it, I just cannot look away. I cringe, but kneel down and look at it. And there he was, poor thing, writhing naked, shell-less, on the sidewalk, seconds to live. It was purely horrific.
I don't know why I'm so empathetic toward the snail. It defies logic, common sense, which is what I examine here on UltraJam. It's just so easy for me to imagine him gathering up his gusto for an evening stroll..."Okay! Here I go. I just know I can make it to the other edge of the sidewalk before dark if I start out now. Ready, set, AHHHHHHH!" Silence.
I know, let it go, you say. It's only a silly snail. But alas, is there a creature more docile? More defenseless against the human foot than a snail? I know his remains are out there, by my door, and I will need to muster strength to pass by him this morning. His family is no doubt assuming the worst by now. Tomorrow is truly promised to no one.
17 comments:
Heh. I'd like to say poor snail...but i was kinda laughing at the picture of you getting all teary eyed over a dead snail...
Sorry...couldn't help myself there...think i need to cut down on those violent movies...
Yes, Wilson! I know what you mean. Like I said, it defies logic. I can step on spiders, pill bugs, caterpillars, even, and not feel the tremendous guilt I shoulder when I accidentally crunch a snail. Good thing my feet aren't too big.
Aww, poor snail. Well at least his now in a better place. Summerland...er... Snailland? Maybe giving the little guy a flower box burial might help relieve those feelings.
Boy, can I sure relate to that. Poor snail. i always lecture my parents when we come home after it's been reainging and there are snails on our porch. Yet, I always seem to take a misstep. One time I did it without any shoes on and it hurt my heart and my foot.
Hi Daria & NYC, thanks for commenting. I am almost through my grieving process for the snail. It helps that maintenance did their weekly sidwalk wash today. Sniff.
Crunch.
Squish.
Ew.
When I was little and lived in San Diego my parents had a friend whose toddler picked them up and ate them :-)
Now I live in Indiana and we just have slugs... w/0 the shells. I don't know which kind is worse.
Sounds like you would fit perfectly as a Buddhist monk, who is afraid of stepping on anything. Just kidding.
Oh barf! A toddler eating snails? I just cannot let my mind go there. Hopefully they can pursuade the child to eat gummy worms instead. And I'm not sure about the Buddhist monk lifestyle...I smash spiders with reckless abandon!!
No! You kill spiders? Oh my, those are what I cannot kill. Roaches, easy to squish on, but spiders? No way, they do so much good! *sigh*
And snail empathy is a good thing to have. They are sweet little things. Now, if I could only get you to understand that arachnids are our friends.
I kinda feel the same way about snails and other little critters on rocks at the beach that get exposed at low tide. I see people hopping from rock to rock. I hear 'crunch, crunch.' The hoppers don't ever seem to notice. Makes me cringe for some reason.
Hi V. & BNS! Spiders are good guys? I didn't know that. I'm going to research it and perhaps restrain my spider-smashing feet. Hmm, I feel a new post percolating.
I can just hear those crunches on the rocks...I'm cringing here at my desk.
Thanks for dropping by my blog.
It's interesting how you dissect a daily overlooked trivial. Sometimes, there are so many little things going on around us, irregardless of whether we are involved. There are still bit and pieces of stuffs we can digest out of it.
Given your non-blogging profession, perhaps it would be proper to honor the poor snail with a decent burial... and mark the spot with a little chalk outline? :-)
Poor little guys.
Hi Thrift, that is perfect...a chalk outline! Wish I'd thought of it. I've gotten through my grief. Helped a little one across the walk last night. He was probably the murdered snail's child.
Snails deserve better. We should start a campaign called "Souls for the snails". Some copy cat of a childrens foundation. Snails need a better future.
On the other side of things. I heard they taste pretty good with the proper seasoning and all.
Crunch.
Oh Food Inspector, you turned on him at the end, there. I confess, I've nibbled on a few snails myself. Not off the sidewalk, mind you. In France a few years ago. Besides the garlic, tasted like a ball of rubberbands.
i like snails too :))
when i see some i just can't resist but to place my foot over its pretty shell and enjoy the cracking and squishing sound, after i crunch it to death with my full weight i toe-twist its remains to oblivion under my huge size 12 foot...no one would say that there even was a snail there when i finish it under my sneaks
yeaaaaahhh
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